The dark phase is sacred too
WHEN EVERYTHING FEELS LIKE IT’S FALLING APART
It’s a full moon and lunar eclipse today, and ooo boy, it feels quite raw and turbulent, as if literally everything is falling apart, like everything. It’s a transition and we’re not taught to honour this part. The part between endings and beginnings.
When your life, relationship, business, work in uncomfortable transformative mode. The messy, uncertain, emotional phase where things feel raw and unstructured, and where you might begin to wonder: “Is something wrong with me?”
You won’t find many posts about this, it’s vulnerable. But I will, because I’ve been in it, in fact I’m still in it, but I feel I can begin to share it. And what I’ve learned, through years of building and rebuilding myself, is this: The dark phase is not a detour. It’s the doorway.
For me, it always starts with a quiet inner shift. Something that once felt aligned begins to feel heavy. Something that was coming super smooth becomes somehow impossible or takes so much effort. People come to life and reflect something you don’t quite understand. The relationship wobbles, the goals gets blurry. Intuition becomes suppressed, fear creating up. It feels like a collapse. But it’s actually the first sign of becoming.
FERMENTATION AND SACRET DARK PHASE
In fermentation - something I grew up with and a process I’ve worked with for decades - the dark phase is where transformation begins. It’s not pretty. It’s cloudy, chaotic, unpredictable, it doesn’t smell nice. The liquid turns murky. If pathogenic bacteria are introduced, it can spoil the whole batch. From the outside, it might seem like something is wrong. But it’s not wrong. It’s working. And our lives are no different. We all go through emotional and psychological fermentation phases. The kind where everything stinks a bit, but only because the old is being broken down so the new can live.
TOOLS FOR TRANSFORMATION
How did I survive these moments? I’m not a superhuman, and yes, in those moments I tried by hustling harder. It would only lead to complete physical and psychological breakdown. It simply doesn’t work, in fact it takes longer to get to the place you want to get. I didn’t pretend everything was fine. And definitely not by numbing the pain with something quick and conventional, for the sake of “fitting back into the box." What got me through, and what brought real clarity, was something else entirely.
Here’s what helped me return to myself every time I’ve struggled. These tools weren’t “extra”, they were essentials. They became my real co-founders in every brand I’ve built.
SOUL ALIGNED SUPPORT RITUALS
Very few friends vibrate on the same frequency of self-discovery and growth — but those real, human conversations are invaluable during the most challenging times. They hold space for you, so you don’t feel completely alone. And that space can be incredibly rough.
Even though, in times like that, food can become messy and not necessarily healthy - and I’ve definitely eaten all sorts of junk in a hurry, but very quickly come back to restorative, nourishing good-for-the-gut, body, and mind foods. Raw fermented vegetables were lifesavers during busy moments like that. Just a spoonful added to any meal becomes a secret tool to upgrade whatever you’re eating.
Just run out into nature — to your local woods or park. Hug a tree. One of my essentials is to literally throw my body onto the grass — to ground, to recharge, to release all the heaviness back into the earth. Listen to the birds, look up at the sky, touch the leaves, gather some wildflowers and bring their untamed, vibrant energy home with you. Use nature like this, all the time.
Herbs and Plants. Naturally, I love plants. I’ve always had a genuine interest in herbs — it’s been part of my life for as long as I can remember. It’s not as complicated as it might seem. Start with herbal teas to support and calm the nervous system. In fact, I recommend having them regularly as part of your routine. Simple blends like lemon balm, lavender, and chamomile are beautiful.
Personally, I have a cupboard full of adaptogens I buy in bulk and mix depending on what I need. But you can also find them in premixed forms — things like Shatavari, Ashwagandha, or Rhodiola. Just know that finding the right one is quite personal; it's about resonance.
Essential oils are another big part of my life. I stopped using perfume about eight years ago. Out of nowhere, they started to feel too intense, almost invasive. I couldn’t tolerate them anymore. Even now, walking past perfume counters in airports or department stores feels unbearable. I use essential oils instead. Once you build a relationship with them, and find the ones that work for your specific needs and life seasons, your body just knows. I reach for my bottle of Ylang Ylang, take a deep breath, and instantly feel grounded again.
There are so many ways to use plants to support you — not just in difficult times, but every day. They’ve become my allies: calming, strengthening, and gently reminding me who I am beneath the chaos. I can’t recommend them enough.
Yoga, meditation, journaling — they’re all helpful tools. But don’t feel like you must follow specific rules. These practices are deeply intuitive. Many women entrepreneurs I know, including myself, find it challenging to meditate with a busy mind — and that’s completely okay.
I’ve developed my own ritual that suits my personal circumstances, time, and physical ability. It’s a blend of yoga and qigong, designed to help me connect with my inner compass. I work with my body using the sway test, tuning into what’s true for me in that moment. After that, I follow with journaling — writing down if any insights arise from the practice.
There’s so much information out there — all kinds, all the time — and often, the most natural urge is to switch it all off and just sit with yourself in silence. And it's quite the way - reduce the noise to hear the soul notes! But sometimes, in times of crisis, I’ve found something else more useful. Instead of filling my space with random noise, I choose to intentionally brainwash myself — with curated voices that uplift me: motivational speakers, trauma therapists, esoteric teachers, healers etc. It helps me connect the dots. I also check in with the astrological world, or dive into Human Design — not as answers, but as reflections that help me make sense of what’s shifting inside.
Creative rituals are a big support for me. I paint. I work with plant images, fabrics, textures — both in real life and on my Pinterest boards. Design is something I love and feel completely at home with — like a fish in water. It’s my language. Even something as simple as colouring in can feel deeply therapeutic.
Healers or guides, are the people we all need as we awaken. They walk beside us through difficult moments, holding space so we can see more clearly — helping us feel what’s truly ours, and what isn’t.
There are so many incredible healers out there, but it’s important to find the ones who resonate with you. It’s a frequency match — not every healer will be the right fit for everyone.
Sound Healing & Energy Work. Several years ago, I experienced a profound Tibetan singing bowl healing sessions — and since then, it’s become one of my go-to practices to support and guide my spirit. I even took a certified course myself and invested in proper Tibetan bowls aligned with my chakras, so I could use them at home for my family or to charge and activate water.
There are also crystal bowls, gongs, and all sorts of sound healing tools out there. They are truly magical. The key is to find what resonates with your frequency — because not all of them are right for everyone. They’re like instant portals to guidance and clarity.
Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) helps me name and move through anxiety before meetings, launches, or hard conversations. Breathwork reconnects me to my body — the place I forget to inhabit when I’m just coping.
These techniques are so simple, yet they make a huge difference when I need to shift my energy or connect to inner guidance.
Intuitive tools like plant spirit communication, cellular memory healing, past life regression, energy and fascia work, and somatic coaching — these are some of the options that begin to open up once you step into this kind of support.
It’s all about finding what resonates most with you. What works best can shift over time, because your frequency isn’t static — it evolves. And your tools evolve with it.
Clean Boundaries + Friend Filters. I learned — sometimes painfully — that not everyone is meant to walk with you through transformation. Not everyone wants to transform. Some prefer to stay exactly where they are — happy or unhappy — within the old paradigm.
I stopped leaking energy into people who couldn’t support my growth. I chose aligned friends over simply available ones.
I used to think all this was something private, not to be shared. But over the years, I’ve learned that these tools aren’t optional. They’re essential. This is the real support we need on the journey to self-discovery.
I love to connect unconventional and challenge traditional thinking. I see myself as a bridge between two worlds — entrepreneurship and spirituality. I’ve walked both paths, and I know how deeply connected they are. I know many women, just like me, are using practices like these (and others) to find their soul path. We can’t ignore this anymore. Our soul has to express itself through our human personality. And when its potential is suppressed, we become disconnected, unhappy, and eventually… unwell. That’s not just me saying it — even Dr. Edward Bach said so.
This is the Age of Aquarius. A time that demands we wake up, drop the masks, remember who we truly are, and reclaim our energy. And that means embracing the sacred dark instead of resisting it.
Yes, it’s a rabbit hole — but it’s a necessary one if you want to meet your whole self.
We are not here to mould ourselves into environments that shrink us.
We are not here to silence our symptoms just to function in systems that were never built for our expansion.
We are here to feel, heal and create - from the most honest, embodied place inside of us.
That’s how true visionaries rise, slowly but powerfully.
So if you’re in it right now, the grief, the uncertainty, the weird in-between of what’s dying and what’s next, don’t rush, don’t numb, don’t bypass it, go into it fully.
You’re not broken, you’re fermenting.
And this might just be the most sacred part of your story yet:
“Every successful person you admire has survived a season you didn’t see.”
— Unknown
Much love,
Elena x
